


Coffee Break

by oshunanat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Crack, Episode: s14e01 Stranger in a Strange Land, Gen, I still want Sam to reclaim his "Boy King" status and his powers, One Shot, because that would be awesome, the demons are so done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 01:07:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17012640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oshunanat/pseuds/oshunanat
Summary: After Kip's death, some demons discuss the day's events around Hell's water-cooler.





	Coffee Break

“Hey Bill!” a chorus of voices greeted their friend in the break room.

Bill approached the coffee maker to make a k-cup of baby blood. “Hey guys.”

“So how did things go with Kip?” Sue asked as she stirred some sugar into hers.

“As well as expected,” he said benignly.

John stood up and grabbed the red whiteboard marker and waved it in Bill’s direction.

Bill nodded.

John uncapped it and drew a neat line through Kip’s name on the list of “Hell’s Leadership Killed Directly or Indirectly by the Winchesters.” It was quite a long list at this point, though Kip by far was the most pathetic addition to it.

“You did try to warn him,” John remarked.

Bill sighed mournfully. “No one ever listens to me.”

“So what’s the plan now?” Sue asked. “We need a leader.”

“We start a betting pool on who the next sucker to try will be?” Steve asked looking up from where he was trying rescue burning popcorn from the microwave. “Damn thing.”

Bill made a face as the smell of scorched popcorn reached his nose. “Sam Winchester said that there could be no new King, that anyone who tried would have to go through him.”

John laughed. “Good luck with that.”

“Why don’t we just ask him?” Steve suggested as he tried to determine if any of the bag was salvageable.

“Ask Sam Winchester?” Sue asked. “To do what? Be King? Are you _nuts_?”

Steve took a bite and immediately spit it out, the burned flavor too strong. With a sigh, he tossed the whole bag in the bin. “He was the Boy King,” Steve pointed out. “And between him and his brother, they’ve directly or indirectly killed four Princes of Hell, Two Knights of Hell, one King of the Crossroads and oh, _Lucifer Himself_. What chance does anyone have against them? At least maybe if he takes the throne it’ll bring us some stability around here.”

John looked thoughtful. “He has a point.”

“Assuming he doesn’t kill us for asking,” Bill said thoughtfully as he took a sip of his now warmed up blood. “Although, he did lose Dean again. He’s kind of distracted right now.”

“How on earth did he lose him _again_?” Steve asked.

Bill shrugged. “Castiel didn’t say, and Kip couldn’t get it out of him.” He glanced up at the whiteboard. “Oh hey! Mark won the How Many Days Until the Next Winchester Crisis betting pool. Good. He owes me $50.”

“I think this idea has merit,” John said. “So how do we go about approaching him?”

“When Lilith died, we sent Crowley with gifts to Cain,” Sue recalled.

“And Crowley returned as King,” Bill said.

“True,” Steve said. “But seeing as he said no new Kings, I can’t see him telling us to take the spot. He’ll either turn us away or say yes. We could try?”

“It’d take a Hell of a gift,” Sue mused. “Maybe we could help him find his brother?”

Bill nodded. “If that doesn’t sway him nothing will.”

“So….we doing this?” Steve asked.

There was a heavy silence for a moment.

“If we don’t, I have to write up a report on Kip’s death,” Bill said. “Fuck it. I’m in.”

John shrugged. “I’m in.”

“Yeah. Let’s go. I can’t stand the stench of burnt popcorn,” Sue said glaring at Steve.

“Sorry!” Steve said unconvincingly. It wasn’t _his_ fault the microwave always burnt popcorn. He was convinced it was rigged to do so, though that never stopped him from trying.

“All right. Let’s go find new hosts and meet at the diner at the edge of the Bunker’s wards in say….two hours?” Bill suggested.

Nods all around.

Bill tossed his styrofoam cup in the trash. “See you there.”

*

Two hours and five minutes later, the quartet of demons approached the door of the bunker.

“You knock,” Steve said to Bill.

Bill pushed Steve forward. “This was your idea, you knock.” 

Steve glared at Bill but did as he was told.

After several moments, a stern looking blonde woman answered the door.

“Can I help you?” she asked wearily.

They put on their best smiles. “Is Sam Winchester home?” Steve asked. “We have a favor to ask.”


End file.
